I'm giving a presentation to a group of students tomorrow and as I wondered what words of wisdom and tools I could impart, one of my all time favorite set of instructions came to mind! Enjoy!!
How to Swim with Sharks
by Voltaire Cousteau
Forward
Actually, nobody wants to swim
with sharks. It is not an acknowledged sport and it is neither enjoyable nor
exhilarating.
These instructions are written
primarily for the benefit of those, who, by virtue of their occupation, find
they must swim and find that the water is infested with sharks. It is of
obvious importance to learn that the waters are shark infested before
commencing to swim. It is safe to say that this initial determination has
already been made. If the waters were infested, the naïve swimmer is by now
probably beyond help; at the very least, he has doubtless lost any interest in
learning how to swim with sharks.
Finally, swimming with sharks is
like any other skill: It cannot be learned from books alone; the novice must
practice in order to develop the skill. The following rules simply set forth
the fundamental principles which, if followed will make it possible to survive
while becoming expert through practice.
Rules
1. Assume all unidentified fish
are sharks. Not all sharks look like sharks, and some fish that are not sharks
sometimes act like sharks. Unless you have witnessed docile behavior in the
presence of shed blood on more than one occasion, it is best to assume an
unknown species is a shark. Inexperienced swimmers have been badly mangled by
assuming that docile behavior in the absence of blood indicates that the fish
is not a shark.
2. Do not bleed. It is a cardinal principle that if you are injured, either by
accident or by intent, you must not bleed. Experience shows that bleeding
prompts an even more aggressive attack and will often provoke the participation
of sharks that are uninvolved or, as noted above, are usually docile.
3. Admittedly, it is difficult not to bleed when injured. Indeed, at first this
may seem impossible. Diligent practice, however, will permit the experienced
swimmer to sustain a serious laceration without bleeding and without even
exhibiting any loss of composure. This hemostatic reflect can, in part, be
conditioned, but there may be constitutional aspects as well. Those who cannot
learn to control their bleeding should not attempt to swim with sharks, for the
peril is too great.
The control of bleeding has a
positive protective element for the swimmer. The shark will be confused as to
whether or not his attack has injured you and confusion is to the swimmer’s
advantage. On the other hand, the shark may know he has injured you and be
puzzled as to why you do not bleed or show distress. This also has a profound
effect on sharks. They begin to question their own potency or, alternatively,
believe the swimmer to have supernatural powers.
4. Counter any aggression
promptly. Sharks rarely attack a swimmer without warning. Usually there is some
tentative, exploratory aggressive action. It is important that the swimmer
recognize that this behavior is a prelude to an attack and takes prompt and
vigorous remedial action. The appropriate countermove is a sharp blow to the
nose. Almost invariably this will prevent a full-scale attack, for it makes it
clear that you understand the shark’s intention and are prepared to use
whatever force is necessary to repel aggressive actions.
5. Some swimmers mistakenly believe that an ingratiating attitude will dispel
an attack under these circumstances. This is not correct; such a response
provokes a shark attack. Those who hold this erroneous view can usually be
identified by their missing limb.
6. Get out of the water if someone is bleeding. If a swimmer (or shark) has
been injured and is bleeding, get out of the water promptly. The presence of
blood and the thrashing of water will elicit aggressive behavior even in the
most docile of sharks. This latter group, poorly skilled in attacking, often
behaves irrationally and may attack uninvolved swimmers and sharks. Some are so
inept that, in the confusion, they injure themselves.
7. No useful purpose is served in attempting to rescue the injured swimmer. He
either will or will not survive the attack, and your intervention cannot
protect him once blood has been shed. Those who survive such an attack rarely
venture to swim with sharks again, an attitude which is readily understandable. The lack of effective
countermeasures to a fully developed shark attack emphasizes the importance of
the earlier rules.
8. Use anticipatory retaliation.
A constant danger to the skilled swimmer is that the sharks will forget that he
is skilled and may attack in error. Some sharks have notoriously poor memories
in this regard. This memory loss can be prevented by a program of anticipatory
retaliation. The skilled swimmer should engage in these activities periodically
and the periods should be less than the memory span of the shark. Thus, it is
not possible to state fixed intervals. The procedure may need to be repeated
frequently with forgetful sharks and need be done only once for sharks with
total recall.
9. The procedure is essentially the same as described under rule 3: a sharp
blow to the nose. Here, however, the blow is unexpected and serves to remind
the shark that you are both alert and unafraid. Swimmers should care not to
injure the shark and draw blood during this exercise for two reasons: First,
sharks often bleed profusely, and this leads to the chaotic situation described
under rule 4. Second, if swimmers act in this fashion, it may not be possible
to distinguish swimmers from sharks. Indeed, renegade swimmers are far worse
than sharks, for none of the rules or measures described here is effective in
controlling their aggressive behavior.
10. Disorganized and organized attack. Usually sharks are sufficiently
self-centered that they do not act in concert against a swimmer. This lack of
organization greatly reduces the risk of swimming among sharks. However, upon
occasion the sharks may launch a coordinated attack upon a swimmer or even upon
one of their number. While the latter event is of no particular concern to
swimmer, it is essential that one know how to handle an organized shark attack
directed against a swimmer.
The proper strategy is diversion.
Sharks can be diverted from their organized attack in one of two ways. First,
sharks as a group, are prone to internal dissension. An experienced swimmer can
divert an organized attack by introducing something, often minor or trivial,
which sets the sharks to fighting among themselves. Usually by the time the
internal conflict is settled the sharks cannot even recall what they were
setting about to do, much less get organized to do it.
A second mechanism of diversion
is to introduce something that so enrages the members of the group that they
begin to lash out in all directions, even attacking inanimate objects in their
fury.
What should be introduced?
Unfortunately, different things prompt internal dissension of blind fury in
different groups of sharks. Here one must be experienced in dealing with a
given group of sharks, for what enrages one group will pass unnoted by another.
It is scarcely necessary to state
that it is unethical for a swimmer under attack by a group of sharks to counter
the attack by diverting them to another swimmer. It is, however, common to see
this done by novice swimmers and by sharks when under concerted attack.
(Little is known about the
author, who died in Paris in 1812. He may have been a descendant of Francois
Voltaire and an ancestor of Jacques Cousteau. Apparently this essay was written
for sponge divers. Because it may have broader implications, it was translated
from the French by Richard J. Johns, an obscure French scholar and Massey
Professor and director of the Department of Biomedical Engineering, The Johns
Hopkins University and Hospital, 720 Rutland Avenue, Baltimore, Maryland 21203. Perspectives in Biology and
Medicine 1987; 30: 486-489.)
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I'm almost 70 and I went out and refereed five basketball games for LEST. (Can you picture this??? DJ started out with us carrying over 100 pounds of stored fuel ... he shared that he felt like he was dying under the weight. Now, he just refereed FIVE basket ball games!!! Good work!!)
