Thursday, November 22, 2012

Make a Structural Tension Chart for reducing stress this Thanks Giving

Robert Fritz introduced us to the technique of making and using a Structural Tension Chart to propel us forward towards goals with systematic ease.  Here's an example my friend, Susan, sent me of how she is using a Structural Tension Chart to help her focus on what matters most for ThanksGiving.

At the top, you'll find Susan's "Vision."  This is the reality she intends to create.  At the bottom you will find her "Current Reality" ... this is where she recorded what she was feeling in her darker moments of early stress and worry.  In the middle are the little "Baby Steps" that she will use to help her keep her eye on the prize - to help her stay focused on the Vision and the reality she intends to create!

Notice that the structure reads from bottom to top ... all the energy belongs at the top.  It's important to acknowledge the "Current Reality" at the bottom but put NO Energy here! All the energy goes into building and supporting the Vision!  The Baby Steps should all be doable, small, simple, easy actions that are all directed towards the creating the Vision.  We can add more as the day goes by.  By the way, this is just one example of how the Structural Tension Chart can be used.

Susan's Intention & Vision is to:
Radiate happiness, trust, and joyfulness
Infuse every interaction with kindness
Build wonderful memories

Baby Steps:
  • Choose comfortable clothing.
  • Arrive early and prepared
  • Be lovingly detached
  • Have an "escape route" planned
  • Clear my mind & heart of old resentments  
  • Avoid being drawn into criticism and gossip
  • Remember that it's ok that I am not perfect, look for the shining light in everyone 
  • Sit on the floor - be at the level of the little ones to be available, attentive & playful 
  • Keep a safe distance from chips, dips & desserts, alcohol and other poisons 
  • Plan a "re-entry" strategy or way to be of service that allows me to relax.

Current Reality:
I'm aware that I talk too much and listen too little ...
I know I hurt my cousin's feelings last time we met.
Feelings of inadequacy are in abundance
I'm feeling rushed, under-appreciated, irritated with myself
Missing my grandmother ... know that I'll never be able to fill her shoes

You can read more about Robert Fritz in his wonderful book, The Path of Least Resistance and learn more at his web site, 

1 comment:

  1. Here´s a list that would relieve stress a lot more:
    - I will dress like I please, with clothes that make me feel good.
    - I am not a toy... I do not have to be available for children and I certainly do not have to be on "their level". I am all grow up now and have earned the right to sit on a comfortable chair. I will interact with them as a proper adult if they behave well.- I´ll talk all the time. Partly to stave off shyness or inadequacy and partly to avoid having to hear others gossip and criticism.
    - Upon arrival I will scan the room for all people I hold grudges and or feel resentment and other bad feelings. I will be aware of those resentments and bad feelings so that I can avoid being nice to people that do not deserve it.
    - I´ll make excuses for everything I do not want to and will stay only the amount of time that I wish to stay. I will leave at the exact moment I wish to leave without apologizing for having made my own life and happiness a priority.
    - Chips, dips, dessert and alcohol are not poisons... they are treats. I will eat and or drink them in moderate amounts if I feel like it without any guilt, since I do not eat or drink those everyday.