Sunday, November 25, 2012

Enough Already, Now Get Out of Our Own Way

I liked this article by Robert Fritz explaining why it is so important to "Get out of our own way."  I won't even attempt to summarize this great article.  Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Explaining Yourself to Yourself

Robert Fritz

If you find yourself describing why you did what you just did, what it means, how it defines you, and what might you do next time; you are in the bad habit of explaining yourself to yourself.

This is a type of obsession as well as a bad habit.  It might be so constant, that you don’t notice you’re doing it.  The other day, someone came into our office and began to “think out loud” about her actions, her thoughts, what it symbolized, what it said about her.  Someone asked her a question, but she didn’t hear it until they repeated themselves two more times.  She was so deeply focused on her explanation of herself to herself, that she was missing the reality that was before her eyes.

This is just one example of what is going on with many people.  They see their job in life as to monitor themselves so they can critique themselves.  Behind it all is an assumption and an aspiration.  The assumption is that there is something wrong with them, and so they must keep an eye on themselves.  The aspiration is that they want to grow into something they, themselves, can admire.

This is a dead end.  With the obsession on one’s self, it is hard to get yourself out of your own way.  Everything becomes commentary on you, even though it may have very little to do with you.  Objectivity and perspective, the very elements you need to truly improve by evaluating your desired outcomes against the current reality in order to create an effective strategy to achieve the goals you want to create, are thawed by self-focus.

As in the Paul McCartney lyric “when you find yourself in the thick of it, help yourself to a bit of what is all around you.”  If you find yourself explaining yourself to yourself, STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN to what is all around you: reality.  Change your focus from inner to outer.  Describe how things look to yourself.  Note the objects you can see and hear.  This will put you back in reality, which is a nicer place to live than in your head.

© Robert Fritz 2012

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